


Unspoken Words

by antimiya88



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-10-15 10:25:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10554770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antimiya88/pseuds/antimiya88
Summary: Matsumoto Jun thought that always made the right decisions, that always was the strong one. Until he realized nothing of this is true. He was holding his happiness in his hands and he threw it away... because he never spoke what he really felt. Was that his punishment or he could have a second chance?





	

Title: Unspoken Words (One Shot)  
Author: Andy-chan ([](http://antimiya88.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://antimiya88.livejournal.com/) **antimiya88** )  
Pairings: Juntoshi, Sakuraiba (mentioned)  
Genre: AU, Drama, Romance, Angst (some...)  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Matsumoto Jun thought that always made the right decisions, that always was the strong one. Until he realized nothing of this is true. He was holding his happiness in his hands and he threw it away... because he never spoke what he really felt. Was that his punishment or he could have a second chance?  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys ~~unfortunately~~

 

 

 

 

  
_ Unspoken Words  _

  
  
  
“Good morning Jun…”   


That’s what he would say if he was lying next to him. His hair would be around his face and his chubby cheeks in combination with his sleepy eyes would make him look like a kid.

 _“What are you staring at?! And… don’t start about how I look like a kid…”_ he would pout.

Jun loved it so much when he pouted. He was becoming even cuter; even more irresistible. He looked at his left side and sighed. Yes it was true… he would definitely pout and then look away shyly.

The only problem is that he _would_ …

It was one month since Jun had called it off. Yes. It was his choice. But if it was his choice why did he feel like that? Why did it hurt so much? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about the other?

He poured some hot coffee in his mug and sat at the corner of the sofa. His schedule hadn’t really changed except for the fact that he was following it alone. He knew he was a difficult character. He also knew that things would most probably turn out his way. Whenever they fought. Even if he didn’t want to admit it he knew well that it was the other who would always make the step back and accept Jun’s idea, plan, whatever it was; even if he was the older.

 _Stupid…_ That phrase always played in Jun’s mind recently. He really thought he was stupid. He thought he was stronger yet he wasn’t. His mind would always be occupied with the other. He couldn’t believe he let him slip out of his hands like that.

***   
_“Jun please! It’s only one single day… I have already change it two times to match with your schedule… I can’t change it again… But I promise I will come back early in the afternoon so we can take advantage of the evening and then perhaps he could go out and have some dinner…” Satoshi’s voice was soft. He knew well that Jun wouldn’t be fond of the idea but he couldn’t do something… not this time._

_Jun smashed his glass on the table. “Really?! You’ve got to be kidding me Sato… I can’t believe that you prefer to pass your day fishing with your… fishing friends instead of me…” his anger was overflowing in his mind._

_“But Jun… your free day changed again… I just can’t… ” Satoshi tried to explain though he knew well it was in vain. Once Jun was angry, it was just impossible to have a proper conversation with him._

_“Are you kidding me Sato?” Jun stood up abruptly. “I’m **sorry** for changing again my schedule which is not controlled by me but by the client and I’m **sorry** for not asking for your permission to do so…” _

_“Jun… please…” Satoshi tried to speak but he was caught in the middle._

_“I haven’t finished.” Jun’s voice was cold and his stare intense making Satoshi shiver a bit. “And since when is fishing more important than me? You have to choose Sato. Me or fishing?”_

_“Jun…” Satoshi felt some tears coming to surface but he managed to blink them away._

_“My question is simple. Your stupid hobby or me?”_

_“Why do you always have to be like that?! I have already changed it two times so that we could spend your free day together… I even told them that I would leave after noon… I always make up my plans according to your schedule…”_

_Jun smirked. “I’m sorry if I’m the one who has a serious job and works his ass so that we can both live in this apartment! If it was about a serious appointment or something related to your work I wouldn’t say anything… but over fishing… It’s just ridiculous… stupid…” Jun was fury and when he was fury he couldn’t control what he was saying._

_“You’re calling my hobby ridiculous and stupid…” Satoshi mumbled looking at the floor._

_“I’m calling it like that because it is…” Jun replied, still not having noticed the expression on Satoshi’s face._

_“If you think that my hobby is stupid then what about me?” Satoshi’s lower lip trembled and his hand was clenched in a fist. His eyes were closed tightly as if he was afraid of what words would come out of Jun’s mouth next._

_Jun smirked. “I don’t know… you tell me…”_

_Satoshi hated it when they fought. And lately they would always fought. He knew that Jun was really pressed with his work; being the chief executive for musicals and large productions was quite a pressure but he was at no fault. He, on the other hand, owned a bakery and he was happy with it. It was his dream since kid and he couldn’t imagine himself doing anything else._

_He turned his gaze intensively on Jun. “I may be one… I guess I can exempt you of my stupid presence…”_

_Jun looked at him coldly. “No you can’t… YOU SHOULD! I’VE HAD ENOUGH!” he yelled before grabbing his keys and storming out of the house_ .   
***   
Jun looked out of the window where a couple of sparrows was drinking water from the hose, before flying away together. _Who wants to be alone?_ He sighed. He just couldn’t believe he had the happiness in his hands and he just let it go simply as that.

“You have to admit it Jun…” he muttered to himself. “You really screwed up this time”

He sipped some of his now cold coffee. _Stupid…_   
……………………………………..

Satoshi was trying to focus on his work. He had recently opened one more bakery. It had already been six months since his break up with Jun. At first, he had stayed at the apartment of his best friends. He would wander around lifeless, like a zombie. He would pass his days on the bed, looking at his phone screen. He was waiting for his call. But that call never came… not two days after their fight… not one week… not one month. He had to get used to the idea. Jun had left him… and he was not turning back.

Then, he chose to focus on his work. It made him forget. It helped him to remain sane. At first, he couldn’t believe that an attractive man like Jun could be interested in someone like him but then he could see the other’s love; it was written all over his face and he felt lucky. But then again, this chapter of his life was now closed. He knew he had to move on.

“Satoshi do you want to have dinner with us?” Masaki is going to do chahan!”

Satoshi nodded negatively. He knew his friend was trying to cheer him up. If he was with Jun this would be their second anniversary.

“No. Sho-kun. Thanks for the invitation but I suppose you should enjoy your time with your lover ok?” his voice was low.

“But Satoshi…”

“I’m fine don’t worry. I’ll continue for about an hour longer and then go back home and take a hot shower” Satoshi answered quickly. He could recognize the concern in the other’s tone and somehow it really made him happy. But today he had to be on his own. He wanted to be alone. It was the only day that could leave himself fall into memories, happy and sad.

Sho understood that there was no way he could make his friend change his mind and got ready to leave.

“But if you need anything… no matter what time that might be… don’t hesitate to call us… promise?”

Satoshi formed a small smile. “I promise Sho” at least he felt lucky that he had such good friends as Sho and Masaki. “Don’t worry. I’m going to be fine…”

He could hear Sho sighing as he left and bit his lower lip. It was a lie. He wouldn’t be fine… but he needed it for one day to not be fine… it was as if it somehow could give him strength to continue his life tomorrow. As if this lament could make him stronger, ready to fight even more…  
……………………………….

A city as big as Tokyo seemed as if never fell asleep. People were passing him by. Others with a fast pace and others with a slower; others alone and others with their friends or families; there were of course those who were walking along with their lovers. Satoshi couldn’t help but looking at their entwined fingers while trying to avoid the clench of his heart. _Jun…._   
_***_   
_“Close your eyes!”_

_“Jun… where are you taking me? You know how much I hate walking around without watching where I’m heading to?”_

_Jun muffled his laugh at the hearing of that. He could tell by his lover’s tone that he was afraid. “Sato… you’re such a cutie when you’re helpless like that in my arms… you know that?!”_

_Satoshi pouted. “Don’t make fun of me…” he whined._

_“I’m not… my chubby baby… we’re almost there!” Jun said and landed a soft kiss on his lover’s cheek._

_“Don’t call me chubby!” Satoshi protested but Jun knew that deep inside Satoshi enjoyed this harmless teasing._

_After three minutes, that to Satoshi seemed like an eternity, Jun took off the blindfold and Satoshi found himself on the roof of Jun’s block of flats, which had a perfect view of Tokyo Tower, in front of a table, decorated with candles and a vase of red roses in the middle. At its one side there was a champagne positioned in a bucket with ice._

_“Jun…” Satoshi muttered with a slightly trembling voice. He could already feel tears coming to his eyes._

_“Happy anniversary my love!”_

_Satoshi was in no position to utter a single word but then he felt two arms wrapping around his waist and placed his own hands on top of them, leaning more on the body behind him. “I’d never guess that Jun could be such a romantic soul…”_

_Jun placed a feather like kiss on Satoshi’s neck. “Well… I’m not normally… it’s you that made do that… it’s because of you that I discover new sides of myself that even I didn’t know I have…”_

_Satoshi turned around to meet his lover’s eyes. “I love you” was all he could say, meaning every single word that had just come out of his mouth, while tightening his arms around Jun’s waist._

_Jun cupped his lover’s cheeks and being their lips apart only inches from each other all he could whisper was “I love you too Sato…” before pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss._  
_***_   
Before he knew his legs had brought Satoshi to Ebisu Square; their meeting point for their very first date. He was so lost in his memories that he hadn’t realized where he was heading to. He was ready to go away when a voice made his body freeze.

“Sa- Satoshi… is… is that you?” it was reluctant and sad but Satoshi knew that voice so well. He thought he would never hear it again calling his name.

He turned slowly to see Jun. Or someone who seemed like Jun. This person in front of him was like a shadow of his ex-lover. “J- Jun?”

The other nodded softly. Satoshi could see the pain in the other’s eyes and all he wanted to do was to hug him, to tell him that he would be by his side, that everything would be alright but he remained at his spot. He had lost that right. Jun was not his anymore.

“How are you? I… I saw that you opened another bakery… Congratulations…” Jun’s voice was a bit cracked but Satoshi chose to ignore it.

“I’m fine… I work… a lot… I don’t have a choice now…” Satoshi replied avoiding the other’s eyes. “How are you doing? I saw that you were the responsible for the «Mama Mia!» Musical. It must have been tough, right?”

Jun looked at his ex-lover surprised. _Does he still care for my work?_ “It’s tough… Too much work… but that was always the case…” he mumbled at the end. He felt like bursting into sobs but he refused to crack in front of Satoshi. He had no choice to upset the other’s life… once again. “Anyway… I’m glad you’re fine… it was nice seeing you… goodnight” he said and turned to leave. He had to leave as soon as possible.

Satoshi was left there watching Jun walking away. _Jun…_ Before he knew, he found himself running towards him. He grabbed his arm.

“Why do you always have to pretend the strong one? Why do you always want to hide your true emotions? Why do you never speak the words you want to Jun? Why?”

Satoshi couldn’t believe what he had just done. He was surprised with himself but that didn’t mean that he had regretted it. It was perhaps the first time he had been the one to say something like that to Jun.

“Why do you always have to avoid the truth?”

Jun kept having his back turned on Satoshi. He didn’t speak for several minutes.

“Because I’m afraid…Satoshi…” the words were uttered almost as a whisper.

“I’m the person who always wanted to be the one who was strong, who could always make the right decisions… I was always that arrogant… wasn’t I?! I know well I was but I never accepted it… you see it was easier for me to put the blame on the others…but don’t worry… life paid me back. It made me see that I was a jerk and having lost the one thing that perhaps made me feel alive and human, was something that I deserved…”

Satoshi was biting his lower lip, his glare focused on the ground.

“I guess I owe to tell you something…” Jun said and turned around to meet the teary eyes of his ex-lover. “I’m sorry…” Satoshi could see how Jun’s lips were trembling. “I’m really sorry… for everything… You didn’t deserve someone like me…”

Satoshi made a few steps closer to Jun taking his hands in his. “Jun… never ever say that again… Please…”

“I miss you…” Satoshi’s eyes were locked at Jun’s, unable to mutter a single word. He didn’t move back though; not even when he saw Jun focused on his lips, leaning closer; not even he felt those warm lips cover his.

“I missed you so much…” Jun said after braking the kiss, having their foreheads still connected. “So much…”

Satoshi was afraid… afraid of being weak… afraid of falling into Jun’s trap once again… but above all afraid of being hurt once more… “Jun… I miss you too… I… but… I can’t… we… I won’t handle it… I can’t be hurt ag-”

He didn’t have the chance to finish his words as he was pulled into a strong embrace, leaving him almost no air to breathe.

“All I’m asking is another chance Satoshi… I promise you… if… if you give it to me I won’t hurt you again… never…”

Satoshi could sense the sincerity in Jun’s words and his heart was pounding like crazy but there was still a small voice in his head telling him to get away from there before it’s too late.

“Give me one more chance… please…”  
…………………………………..

_One year later…_

 

“Why are we here?” Satoshi asked frowning. They were at the port.

“We’re leaving on vacation this weekend. I’ve canceled everything so that I could spend some quality time with my precious lover! Tomorrow it’s our anniversary if you by any chance remember!” Jun said in a proud tone.

“By quality time you mean…”

Jun burst into laughs. “Well… not _only_ what your little pervert mind just thought of but other things as well… I’ve rented this boat” he said pointing at the relatively big fishing boat in front of them. “What do you say captain? Would you like to give me my first private fishing lesson?”

Satoshi’s face enlightened immediately.

“Jun?!” Satoshi’s voice was trembling as he was ready to start crying. He couldn’t believe that Jun would do that for him.

“You’re such a cry baby you know that Sato?” Jun said warmly.

“Thank you…” was all Satoshi could whisper.

Jun embraced his lover tightly. “No Sato… _I_ should thank _you…_ for giving me that second chance…”

Satoshi pecked Jun’s lips. “I love you Jun” he mumbled shyly.

Jun smiled. “I love you too baby” was his answer before smashing their lips together.

 

 

 

 

THE END

 

 

A.N. This is my first time writing Juntoshi and I have to admit I'm not familiar with this pairing... I hope Juntoshi fans enjoyed it!

Comments are always <333!!!

 

 


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